My Social Work Life: It's Not About You

There is so much going on in the world right now. Facebook exploding with news articles, opinions, and a whole lot of fear.Lately, I have been feeling a little bitter sweet about being a social worker. It's a hard job. Trying to encourage your foster parents to hang in there when a kid is driving them crazy, is tough. Lacking the right words to console them and ensure them, that they are not crazy for adopting. Truthfully, oftentimes I am at a loss for words. I feel a little helpless after I have given every educated answer I can think of. Oftentimes, my foster parents are thinking of giving up, but I wonder if they think about how we as case managers feel the same way? Some days I DO want to give up. Some days I want to lock myself in my room and turn off my phone.Many of my closest friends are in the social work field. We are passionate, compassionate, and love working with people. Can I tell you, working with people is not easy. Being in a helping profession, where you are overworked and underpaid is not a glamorous life. In spite of that, I am convinced there is something that keeps social workers going; I think its the fact that we believe in serving the marginalized. We believe in finding forever homes for hurting and broken children. We do our best to offer consistency to a child and we do our best to support our foster parents. We are not expecting absolutely anything in return for this. It's our job. Its what we are passionate about.When you work in a profession that constantly reminds you to lay down your life to serve someone else, it's hard to imagine turning your back on people in need. I have seen more people talk about the Veterans and the homelessness crisis this week than I have all year.Not many people pay attention to the social services field.....but since we have your attention because of the refugee crisis, maybe you should check out your local DFPS location and do something generous for the CPS workers on the front lines trying to save kids from abuse, neglect, and homelessness. Maybe you should find your local foster and adoption agency and ask how you can support a foster family, trying to make a difference in a child's life. Maybe your church small group can babysit some foster kids during a foster parent training. Did you know foster parents have to get 30 training hours per year? That is on top of all the other appointments, family visits, and court hearings a child(ren) in their home have.If you want to support the refugee crisis, join legacy collective: http://legacycollective.org/blog/If you want to help DFPS, here is a list of their locations: https://www.dfps.state.tx.us/contact_us/map.asp IF you want to help some agency social workers, here is a great place to start: http://www.arrow.org/It's time to put your passionate heart to use, look around and start helping.xoxoFaitth B

I love orphans.

orphansI was a case manager for a year and a half and I got to to work with children in foster care. Before earning a degree in social work, I was very ignorant about the foster care system. I did not know if orphanages still existed in the US or if children were just in foster homes-until I started my job and I met some of the faces that make up "foster care."

Children in foster care are judged before anyone even meets them. They are probably "bad" or have a lot of "issues." Potential adoptive parents want young children to complete their family. If you are 7 years old you better pray hard because most likely you will be passed over for a baby because you are far too old to "mold" and "shape". Thus they are left in the system, growing more emotionally closed and starting to question everyone and everything. They are used to being let down and people giving promises they cannot keep. They shuffle from home to home- trying to learn new rules each time. Have you ever been to a sleepover as a child but you couldn't sleep well because you were out of your home environment? Children in foster care have to adjust to new homes and wonder if they will be safe. They may not sleep well. They may wet the bed, make failing grades, or be disrespectful.

I was really apathetic towards children in foster care until I saw their faces and learned their names. 

Every time a child ran up to me for a hug or refused to let me leave, my heart melted each time. These children are worthy of love and belonging. Unfortunately the older they are the longer they will permanently bounce from home to home in the foster care system until they age out at 18. By that time many of them are homeless, pregnant, or facing jail time. I can only imagine how they would have turned out if someone took a chance to love them. Loving foster children is risky, especially the older ones, but I believe it is worth it. Did you know that girls in foster care are more likely to become teen mothers or pregnant before age 25?

The teen who taught me the most was one of my greatest challenges at first. She would not talk to me much. She kind of mumbled as she talked. I tried not to pry since they have to talk to several adults about their feelings and it can be overwhelming. So I tried building a rapport with her. I did not see the results of this rapport until a year later. She finally opened up to me. I knew there was something special about her and I wanted to remain involved in her life regardless of where my career led me. She had endured a lot of pain and hurt. She had trouble opening up to people and connecting with adults because one minute they would want her forever and the next they were done. She has a lot of fears and hesitations about being loved. She doesn't understand true self-sacrificing, unconditional, and selfless love, yet. I am hoping she will be able to see past all of her hurt and pain to see how much love is really surrounding her.

In spite of all this, she has marked my life forever. I think of her all the time. Just thinking about her hurt, pain, and life brings tears to my eyes. There is nothing I can say or do to take away her pain. She is just one of many. She is not a number. She has a name and real life.

Watching a family adopt their 16year old son was so powerful. He was so excited to belong to a family legally but to them he was already family and this just made it official. The concept of leaving the old behind and changing your name is so symbolic to me. National adoption day is my favorite. These adoption moments bring me to tears because these kids are so worthy of love and having a family.

There are well over 6000+ children/teens waiting for good homes. These children are not in an orphanage, they are in foster homes in your own backyard- longing for permanency. You would be surprised how fast some parents relinquish their rights and decide to leave their child in foster care. It's heartbreaking.

The most fulfilling work I've ever done was serve these legends. Remember for every number there is a name and a face-these are precious little lives. I hope your heart can be opened to adoption. It's a beautiful, tough, rewarding, and life-changing journey.

Get out there people. Open your homes. Love a child or teen.

If you are scared of being in it alone, you won't be! There are so many support groups that meet in person and online. You will have support.

You will not regret it.

If you don't feel called to adopt then help someone else financially.

Do your part.

You can learn more about adoption through All In Orphan Care and Arrow Child and Family Ministries.

XOXO

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